Ketchup Time

You may be wondering what on earth the title of this blog means....and well you should be wondering. Ha! Just kidding. 

My blog today will an effort to get caught up on things I have talked about in past blogs.

OK....let's get to it.

Let's see...oh yeah the roomate situation.  David just moved out to room with Michael W. yesterday but Aaron will not be my roommate as he does not like me.  He will be Micah's new roomate on the fifth floor.  The room is not even close to being ready.  The color scheme I had did not fly so I agree to paint the room a new color.  The bonus is I got help with redoing the room which includes tearing out one of the lofts which opens the room a lot! Getting a new window much sooner, getting a new bathroom door, and the new paint scheme is beautiful.  The room is going to look 100% better than what I would have done with it.    Thank you Jesus ♥

I'm a confirmed loner. This is not something I have chosen for myself but nonetheless it is what it is.  For those who disagree with this....when was the last time YOU gave me an invite to fellowship? When was the last time I got invited to your home for a meal, or to watch a movie, or to fellowship? That's exactly right.  Oh, I got asked to tag along to a movie or dinner once or twice but the majority of the time a sat in my room all by myself. Day after day...night after night....alone.

There are a couple of people who like me here at JPUSA.  There several more who tolerate me.  The rest don't like me.  I can't tell you how many people I have tried to talk to or joke with or even smile at only to receive a cold look that says "Don't talk to me, I don't like you!"

Sigh. Story of my life.

I don't seem to fit in anywhere I go.  I'm always by myself. Alone. Always.  I get so lonely that my heart literally hurts.  Like as in physical pain.  I want to cry so often but the tears never seem to come. I'm sooooo tired of my heart breaking.  

Why do people look at me and see a monster?  Why do they look at me and only see an angry, hurtful monster? I'm that person that you cross the street when you see me . I'm that person who causes you to pull your child closer to yourself and away from me....I'm that person you whisper to your friend about how pathetic, and fat, and ugly I am.  I am that person you say is irritating. I am the person you dread seeing coming and hope that I don't talk to you, look at you, sit with you.

It never matters how much or little I try, things never change.

It's because of me...I don't even like me...I hate me.

Such a looser.

I have to go.

Yeah....this probably is a pity post and I am the loser you think I am.  

Friday Headache

So today is Friday and I have a headache. Now that my headline is explained I guess I can explain the explaination.  Which is to say that we as a society for the most part have conditioned ourselves to think of Friday as a day we really look forward to.  Especially if we have a job where we have off on the weekends.  Which is my case for the most part with the exception being the weeks I have team clean. That would be this week for me. 

My step-mom is in town visiting her son Jonathan who does not like me. She is going to be taking me to lunch and a movie.  I ate a little lunch so that I won't be hungry when we go and I can just get a small little something to nosh. Then we are going to go see the movie "Lincoln" which I have heard some great reviews. Daniel Day Lewis plays the lead.

So my headache is here and throbbing somewhat annoyingly.  Maybe I'm just trying to make myself sick so that I don't have to go.  Though I know that I don't have to go if I don't want to which is a half-truth.  It's too much to think about and it's not helping my headache so on to other things.

So what do you think of the color this week?  I thought instead of just changing the color of the font I could also change the color of the background.  Sheesh! This stupid headache is making it hard to type.  I keep having to retract and respell things.  ARG!

OK, I think that is more than enough for now.  I have to go.  Talk to you later.   

New Things

Testing one, two, three.

Ok this seems to be good enough.  So here I am and it's a Thursday night.  I have band practice in less than half an hour but Im sitting in my chair on the internet doing the pee dance because my roomate David decided to take a shower without telling me. LOL. 

As you know I wanted to start doing my blogs in different colors.  This has worked out for the most part but when I went to try the yellow font today I couldnt read it on the white background, hence the now black background.

So I was feeling better but relapsed last night.  I didnt go to work today and slept until noon.  I feel better now.

Oh! My new band! It's called Leper and the Scott Shaw is the founder.  The band has been around for many years and gone through many peoples. Right now it's Scott on guitar and vocals, me on bass and various girls on keyboad when they are availble.  Scott said we should start recording a new project soon which is exciting for me since I have always dreamt of recording but never have.

I have to ask him if we can record the song I wrote for my sister Melissa back when I was a teenager, I hope and pray he does.

Things are still going good in the kitchen and I love cooking. 

Anway, I have to get going.