So today is the last day of the year 2012. It's been quite the journey I have to say. But that is not why I am blogging today. I am blogging because or the incredible incident that happened yesterday.
Let me give you some history on my stay here at JPUSA (Jesus People USA) . For the most part I seem to be invisible. When I first got there people told me it's because so many people go through this place it's hard for long time JPUSAians to invest in new people. Which makes sense....only since I have been here I have seen many new people come through the doors and they have ALL been accepted and placed into families and invited to play games, and parties, and fellowship and so forth. I have been invited to a couple of things such as anime night and men's bible study (though I don't go to that since one or two of the guys don't like me). For the most part I eat in my room by myself, and after work I come to my room and stay by myself. No on seems to care. This is what makes what happened yesterday so remarkable.
I was in charge of breakfast and lunch yesterday and for lunch on Sundays we have beans and rice. Everything was going great and right on schedule and I had a 6 inch pan of beans on a cart taking them out to put on the lunch line. I get to the steam table and stopped the cart but the beans kept going and before I could do anything they slid off the cart and onto the floor with a HUGE bang!
For me time stopped....I was completely mortified. No one said anything for a minute until I heard someone say no lunch today, so not knowing what else to do I threw up my hands and shouted NO LUNCH TODAY GUYS!!!! I'm guessing my face was bright red.
Then before I knew it Arcelle, Michael W, Matt B, and Rich cleaned up the spill for me!!!!!!!
It was the most amazing and wonderful thing that every happened to me here at JPUSA yet. God is so good.
I am not convinced they like me but at least I know they don't hate me.....and for now that's good enough for me.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Grandma Helen
Dedicated to my beloved Grandmother Helen Gaeta.
I love you Grandma and miss you already.
My Grandma Helen.
From before I can remember
your soft, warm hugs
embraced me
As a baby, a child, a teen
a young man, a man
your love was never denied
Your love held me up
your love made me strong
your love made me belong
your love I never forget
Through really good times
through even really bad times
you cried for my mistakes
you rejoiced with my triumphs
We shared life and it's moments
you gave your heart
without a second thought
you hold my soul
Now your gone from us
your pain is gone
your joy ten fold
in the arms of Jesus.
Where I will find you again one day.
I love you Grandma.
I love you Grandma.
I love you Grandma.
I love you Grandma and miss you already.
My Grandma Helen.
From before I can remember
your soft, warm hugs
embraced me
As a baby, a child, a teen
a young man, a man
your love was never denied
Your love held me up
your love made me strong
your love made me belong
your love I never forget
Through really good times
through even really bad times
you cried for my mistakes
you rejoiced with my triumphs
We shared life and it's moments
you gave your heart
without a second thought
you hold my soul
Now your gone from us
your pain is gone
your joy ten fold
in the arms of Jesus.
Where I will find you again one day.
I love you Grandma.
I love you Grandma.
I love you Grandma.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Ketchup Time
You may be wondering what on earth the title of this blog means....and well you should be wondering. Ha! Just kidding.
My blog today will an effort to get caught up on things I have talked about in past blogs.
OK....let's get to it.
Let's see...oh yeah the roomate situation. David just moved out to room with Michael W. yesterday but Aaron will not be my roommate as he does not like me. He will be Micah's new roomate on the fifth floor. The room is not even close to being ready. The color scheme I had did not fly so I agree to paint the room a new color. The bonus is I got help with redoing the room which includes tearing out one of the lofts which opens the room a lot! Getting a new window much sooner, getting a new bathroom door, and the new paint scheme is beautiful. The room is going to look 100% better than what I would have done with it. Thank you Jesus ♥
I'm a confirmed loner. This is not something I have chosen for myself but nonetheless it is what it is. For those who disagree with this....when was the last time YOU gave me an invite to fellowship? When was the last time I got invited to your home for a meal, or to watch a movie, or to fellowship? That's exactly right. Oh, I got asked to tag along to a movie or dinner once or twice but the majority of the time a sat in my room all by myself. Day after day...night after night....alone.
There are a couple of people who like me here at JPUSA. There several more who tolerate me. The rest don't like me. I can't tell you how many people I have tried to talk to or joke with or even smile at only to receive a cold look that says "Don't talk to me, I don't like you!"
Sigh. Story of my life.
I don't seem to fit in anywhere I go. I'm always by myself. Alone. Always. I get so lonely that my heart literally hurts. Like as in physical pain. I want to cry so often but the tears never seem to come. I'm sooooo tired of my heart breaking.
Why do people look at me and see a monster? Why do they look at me and only see an angry, hurtful monster? I'm that person that you cross the street when you see me . I'm that person who causes you to pull your child closer to yourself and away from me....I'm that person you whisper to your friend about how pathetic, and fat, and ugly I am. I am that person you say is irritating. I am the person you dread seeing coming and hope that I don't talk to you, look at you, sit with you.
It never matters how much or little I try, things never change.
It's because of me...I don't even like me...I hate me.
Such a looser.
I have to go.
Yeah....this probably is a pity post and I am the loser you think I am.
My blog today will an effort to get caught up on things I have talked about in past blogs.
OK....let's get to it.
Let's see...oh yeah the roomate situation. David just moved out to room with Michael W. yesterday but Aaron will not be my roommate as he does not like me. He will be Micah's new roomate on the fifth floor. The room is not even close to being ready. The color scheme I had did not fly so I agree to paint the room a new color. The bonus is I got help with redoing the room which includes tearing out one of the lofts which opens the room a lot! Getting a new window much sooner, getting a new bathroom door, and the new paint scheme is beautiful. The room is going to look 100% better than what I would have done with it. Thank you Jesus ♥
I'm a confirmed loner. This is not something I have chosen for myself but nonetheless it is what it is. For those who disagree with this....when was the last time YOU gave me an invite to fellowship? When was the last time I got invited to your home for a meal, or to watch a movie, or to fellowship? That's exactly right. Oh, I got asked to tag along to a movie or dinner once or twice but the majority of the time a sat in my room all by myself. Day after day...night after night....alone.
There are a couple of people who like me here at JPUSA. There several more who tolerate me. The rest don't like me. I can't tell you how many people I have tried to talk to or joke with or even smile at only to receive a cold look that says "Don't talk to me, I don't like you!"
Sigh. Story of my life.
I don't seem to fit in anywhere I go. I'm always by myself. Alone. Always. I get so lonely that my heart literally hurts. Like as in physical pain. I want to cry so often but the tears never seem to come. I'm sooooo tired of my heart breaking.
Why do people look at me and see a monster? Why do they look at me and only see an angry, hurtful monster? I'm that person that you cross the street when you see me . I'm that person who causes you to pull your child closer to yourself and away from me....I'm that person you whisper to your friend about how pathetic, and fat, and ugly I am. I am that person you say is irritating. I am the person you dread seeing coming and hope that I don't talk to you, look at you, sit with you.
It never matters how much or little I try, things never change.
It's because of me...I don't even like me...I hate me.
Such a looser.
I have to go.
Yeah....this probably is a pity post and I am the loser you think I am.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Friday Headache
So today is Friday and I have a headache. Now that my headline is explained I guess I can explain the explaination. Which is to say that we as a society for the most part have conditioned ourselves to think of Friday as a day we really look forward to. Especially if we have a job where we have off on the weekends. Which is my case for the most part with the exception being the weeks I have team clean. That would be this week for me.
My step-mom is in town visiting her son Jonathan who does not like me. She is going to be taking me to lunch and a movie. I ate a little lunch so that I won't be hungry when we go and I can just get a small little something to nosh. Then we are going to go see the movie "Lincoln" which I have heard some great reviews. Daniel Day Lewis plays the lead.
So my headache is here and throbbing somewhat annoyingly. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself sick so that I don't have to go. Though I know that I don't have to go if I don't want to which is a half-truth. It's too much to think about and it's not helping my headache so on to other things.
So what do you think of the color this week? I thought instead of just changing the color of the font I could also change the color of the background. Sheesh! This stupid headache is making it hard to type. I keep having to retract and respell things. ARG!
OK, I think that is more than enough for now. I have to go. Talk to you later.
My step-mom is in town visiting her son Jonathan who does not like me. She is going to be taking me to lunch and a movie. I ate a little lunch so that I won't be hungry when we go and I can just get a small little something to nosh. Then we are going to go see the movie "Lincoln" which I have heard some great reviews. Daniel Day Lewis plays the lead.
So my headache is here and throbbing somewhat annoyingly. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself sick so that I don't have to go. Though I know that I don't have to go if I don't want to which is a half-truth. It's too much to think about and it's not helping my headache so on to other things.
So what do you think of the color this week? I thought instead of just changing the color of the font I could also change the color of the background. Sheesh! This stupid headache is making it hard to type. I keep having to retract and respell things. ARG!
OK, I think that is more than enough for now. I have to go. Talk to you later.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
New Things
Testing one, two, three.
Ok this seems to be good enough. So here I am and it's a Thursday night. I have band practice in less than half an hour but Im sitting in my chair on the internet doing the pee dance because my roomate David decided to take a shower without telling me. LOL.
As you know I wanted to start doing my blogs in different colors. This has worked out for the most part but when I went to try the yellow font today I couldnt read it on the white background, hence the now black background.
So I was feeling better but relapsed last night. I didnt go to work today and slept until noon. I feel better now.
Oh! My new band! It's called Leper and the Scott Shaw is the founder. The band has been around for many years and gone through many peoples. Right now it's Scott on guitar and vocals, me on bass and various girls on keyboad when they are availble. Scott said we should start recording a new project soon which is exciting for me since I have always dreamt of recording but never have.
I have to ask him if we can record the song I wrote for my sister Melissa back when I was a teenager, I hope and pray he does.
Things are still going good in the kitchen and I love cooking.
Anway, I have to get going.
Ok this seems to be good enough. So here I am and it's a Thursday night. I have band practice in less than half an hour but Im sitting in my chair on the internet doing the pee dance because my roomate David decided to take a shower without telling me. LOL.
As you know I wanted to start doing my blogs in different colors. This has worked out for the most part but when I went to try the yellow font today I couldnt read it on the white background, hence the now black background.
So I was feeling better but relapsed last night. I didnt go to work today and slept until noon. I feel better now.
Oh! My new band! It's called Leper and the Scott Shaw is the founder. The band has been around for many years and gone through many peoples. Right now it's Scott on guitar and vocals, me on bass and various girls on keyboad when they are availble. Scott said we should start recording a new project soon which is exciting for me since I have always dreamt of recording but never have.
I have to ask him if we can record the song I wrote for my sister Melissa back when I was a teenager, I hope and pray he does.
Things are still going good in the kitchen and I love cooking.
Anway, I have to get going.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
sick...
Todays blog is going to be short as I am not feeling well. Not exactly sure what I'm fighting but it's icky :( . So I took off early yesterday and I didn't go to work today as well. My roommate David Serrano is moving out and this guy Arron will be moving in. I am currently in room 302 but soon this room will be needed for the Landon's baby girl. So I have been trying to fix up room 330 and this stupid thing that I am fighting is not helping matters at all. SIGH. Well, I as soon as I am better I will hit that room hard and furious so I can move in as soon as possible.
Let's see I still need to mud a wall and portions of the ceiling and then scrap another wall that has been mudded and redo that one, finish painting, scrub and clean the floor, wash blankets and sheets, move in!
I have been reading scripture more and more each day and trying to pray more each day too.
OK I am out of here, God bless and take care.
Let's see I still need to mud a wall and portions of the ceiling and then scrap another wall that has been mudded and redo that one, finish painting, scrub and clean the floor, wash blankets and sheets, move in!
I have been reading scripture more and more each day and trying to pray more each day too.
OK I am out of here, God bless and take care.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Time Off
So I thought I should post a new blog since I am now off work and sitting around just kinda putting off going to Target for a new pair of head phones. Hold on I got an IM on FB, BRB. OK so I'm back...or front...or side...not sure.
I think that I will write my blogs in small paragraphs as peoples attentions spans are small. I know mine is. Everytime I see a long post or blog I get all anxiety and if I attempt to read it at all I never get past the first few sentences without just scanning the rest of the page.
I'm sleepy. This is not the first job I've had where I have to be in like at 5am and it always turns out the same. After I get off work in the afternoon I am fighting to stay awake. I cant do naps cause even in cases where my body shuts down on me for like 10-15 minutes then when it comes time to sleep like at 10pm or so I can't sleep cause I'm wide awake! Bleack.
So, I was thinking before I got this laptop that I would or could blog about everything and anything and I guess I am. I should make this my homepage on FB, maybe then I might get some traffic. My homepage says I have had some visitors but no one has commented on my blogs yet.
Who knows maybe I will start to get some interactions soon. I'm going to reply to ALL comments though because it bums me out when I take time to comment on someones blog and I get ignored. Not cool man. Not cool at all.
I really should get going to Target, but I'm listening to Ami Moss's CD and it is fantastic. So mellow, and soft, and wonderful. I love her voice and the musicians compliment her completly.
I think that I will write my blogs in small paragraphs as peoples attentions spans are small. I know mine is. Everytime I see a long post or blog I get all anxiety and if I attempt to read it at all I never get past the first few sentences without just scanning the rest of the page.
I'm sleepy. This is not the first job I've had where I have to be in like at 5am and it always turns out the same. After I get off work in the afternoon I am fighting to stay awake. I cant do naps cause even in cases where my body shuts down on me for like 10-15 minutes then when it comes time to sleep like at 10pm or so I can't sleep cause I'm wide awake! Bleack.
So, I was thinking before I got this laptop that I would or could blog about everything and anything and I guess I am. I should make this my homepage on FB, maybe then I might get some traffic. My homepage says I have had some visitors but no one has commented on my blogs yet.
Who knows maybe I will start to get some interactions soon. I'm going to reply to ALL comments though because it bums me out when I take time to comment on someones blog and I get ignored. Not cool man. Not cool at all.
I really should get going to Target, but I'm listening to Ami Moss's CD and it is fantastic. So mellow, and soft, and wonderful. I love her voice and the musicians compliment her completly.
Restless
So I have been wanting to write my thoughts down for sometime now but as always I have been putting it off. So now here I am..........sorry, I'm listing to praise and worship via YouTube. I'm sitting in my room feeling somewhat anxious and I'm not sure why. Of course I'm depressed about my big fat belly that is in my freaking way as I try and type and it's also because of other distractions in my room that I am trying extremely hard to ignore...and failing..OK, not completely but enough to make me anxious.
Something just occurred to me...my writing looks good in red so I think I will do my posts in different colors. Probably just the hippie in my coming out again. Hahahahahaha. I think it's going to look rather cool. The weather is changing so my allergies have been really bad lately. ICK. Eh, what are you gonna do, or rather what am I gonna do hahahahaha...nothing <------ said dryly.
I know what I'm going to do, serve God as I long to do. Though I'm tired and I have a pressure in my head...again it's not a headache but a pressure big enough for me to notice. It's just sinus pressure from the allergies I'm thinking. I do wake up in the morning with lots of phlegm which of course totally gross. Things like that you just learn to deal with.
You will not know what I am about to say of course but I just got back to writing this blog. After the last paragraph I wandered off on the internet to check my yahoo email and look at some other stuff. OK, OK, it was my FB account...busted. Heh.
So we are about to go into the month of November and I can't believe how time has flown by. Whew. Goes so quickly. I think about death everyday and I start to get anxious about going to heaven. God knows and I mean this quite literally just how evil my heart is. I long for the day when I am the man of God He has called me to be. If I would just truly know in my heart that I am dead to sin and stop looking for acceptance, fulfillment and love outside of God then I would stop filling all the empty holes in my life with all that other junk.
It's not all bad though. God had brought me such a very long way from where I used to be. What I am about to write is not for shock value or drama..just truth...I don't think I have ever said this out loud..to anyone.....OK for the glory of God (because He is the one who saved me from all of this)
I have tried to commit suicide at least four times in my life. Once when I was thirteen, once when I was nineteen or twenty, once when I was twenty-seven, and once when I was twenty-eight.
I know some people will shake their heads and mutter coward...or worse. I can't justify why I tried. I just know my head was all screwed up and obviously I wasn't thinking straight.
This is too hard to write right now, I have to go....
bye.
Something just occurred to me...my writing looks good in red so I think I will do my posts in different colors. Probably just the hippie in my coming out again. Hahahahahaha. I think it's going to look rather cool. The weather is changing so my allergies have been really bad lately. ICK. Eh, what are you gonna do, or rather what am I gonna do hahahahaha...nothing <------ said dryly.
I know what I'm going to do, serve God as I long to do. Though I'm tired and I have a pressure in my head...again it's not a headache but a pressure big enough for me to notice. It's just sinus pressure from the allergies I'm thinking. I do wake up in the morning with lots of phlegm which of course totally gross. Things like that you just learn to deal with.
You will not know what I am about to say of course but I just got back to writing this blog. After the last paragraph I wandered off on the internet to check my yahoo email and look at some other stuff. OK, OK, it was my FB account...busted. Heh.
So we are about to go into the month of November and I can't believe how time has flown by. Whew. Goes so quickly. I think about death everyday and I start to get anxious about going to heaven. God knows and I mean this quite literally just how evil my heart is. I long for the day when I am the man of God He has called me to be. If I would just truly know in my heart that I am dead to sin and stop looking for acceptance, fulfillment and love outside of God then I would stop filling all the empty holes in my life with all that other junk.
It's not all bad though. God had brought me such a very long way from where I used to be. What I am about to write is not for shock value or drama..just truth...I don't think I have ever said this out loud..to anyone.....OK for the glory of God (because He is the one who saved me from all of this)
I have tried to commit suicide at least four times in my life. Once when I was thirteen, once when I was nineteen or twenty, once when I was twenty-seven, and once when I was twenty-eight.
I know some people will shake their heads and mutter coward...or worse. I can't justify why I tried. I just know my head was all screwed up and obviously I wasn't thinking straight.
This is too hard to write right now, I have to go....
bye.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Sunday Antics
So today was kind of a slow day, because the hot water has been out for almost the enitre building I have not fully showered since last week. I do make sure the important parts are kept clean if you know what I mean. LOL. TMI?
So I just chilled and was online most of the day. Nate took me to the Riot Fest here in Chicago and I have to say it was pretty chill. He really wanted to see the band Jesus&Mary Chain. So we went and people watched for a while. We kicked back on the grass by the farris wheel and took pics and laid back. I almost feel alseep while listening to the music. Then we went and saw Nates band. I thought they were ok but Nate said he was disappointed, especially since they didnt play a lot of ther older stuff...well according to Nate they didnt..I wouldnt know.
We then came back and broke into the kitchen where I got spaghetti with meat sauce, three cold cut sandwhiches, and a piece of cake and vanilla ice cream thanks to Anastacia who is very cool.
I got to my room and my hand were full so I asked my next door neighbors the Winters if I could set my spaghetti down so I could open the door and they said yes. Very cool.
I came into my room and flicked on the light switch whereupon the light flickered then burnt out. Nice. LOL.
So I have been sitting here in the dark, surfing the web, mostly FB of course and I ate my sandwhiches and am now thinking about my bladder who is currently pestering me.
Today was one of those day that I didnt "feel" saved but I know that I am because it's what Jesus did on the cross not anything I have ever or could ever do. All praise to my Yeshua! I love you my God!
So I better close this out and go before me bladder gets in cahoots with my brain and I end up with a pissy blanket...that would not be cool.
Ok piss.....I mean peace out!
Nah, that gangster stuff dont work for me...so peace, love and vegetable rights man!
Love you!
So I just chilled and was online most of the day. Nate took me to the Riot Fest here in Chicago and I have to say it was pretty chill. He really wanted to see the band Jesus&Mary Chain. So we went and people watched for a while. We kicked back on the grass by the farris wheel and took pics and laid back. I almost feel alseep while listening to the music. Then we went and saw Nates band. I thought they were ok but Nate said he was disappointed, especially since they didnt play a lot of ther older stuff...well according to Nate they didnt..I wouldnt know.
We then came back and broke into the kitchen where I got spaghetti with meat sauce, three cold cut sandwhiches, and a piece of cake and vanilla ice cream thanks to Anastacia who is very cool.
I got to my room and my hand were full so I asked my next door neighbors the Winters if I could set my spaghetti down so I could open the door and they said yes. Very cool.
I came into my room and flicked on the light switch whereupon the light flickered then burnt out. Nice. LOL.
So I have been sitting here in the dark, surfing the web, mostly FB of course and I ate my sandwhiches and am now thinking about my bladder who is currently pestering me.
Today was one of those day that I didnt "feel" saved but I know that I am because it's what Jesus did on the cross not anything I have ever or could ever do. All praise to my Yeshua! I love you my God!
So I better close this out and go before me bladder gets in cahoots with my brain and I end up with a pissy blanket...that would not be cool.
Ok piss.....I mean peace out!
Nah, that gangster stuff dont work for me...so peace, love and vegetable rights man!
Love you!
Friday, September 14, 2012
TGIF
I just saw a post on FB that said TGIF stands for Today God Is First! Amen to that baby!
So when I was thinking about when I got my laptop I was going to be doing these blogs I had all kinds of ideas for what I would write about. I would be at the coffee shop drinking a latte and waxing either profoundly or humorously about lifes quirks,
So far.......meh.
So tonight is Friday night and I''m not really doing anything special. Just kinda hanging out I suppose and doing lil things that need to be done to my youtube, and fb accounts.
You don't know it but I'm sitting here just staring at the screen waiting for genius to pop into my head.....
Waiting.............
Waiting.................
Typing and waiting......................
Typing and farting and waiting................
OK I totally made up that last one...though my friend Amy would be all like "Sure you did" just cause a couple of times I crashed at her pad and I was a lil gassy, she should talk though because I have seen her blow a mean butt trumpet too! Hahahahahahahahahaha.
OK well thats it for now, I'm getting too bored and so I'm outta here.
Peace, love, and vegetable rights.
So when I was thinking about when I got my laptop I was going to be doing these blogs I had all kinds of ideas for what I would write about. I would be at the coffee shop drinking a latte and waxing either profoundly or humorously about lifes quirks,
So far.......meh.
So tonight is Friday night and I''m not really doing anything special. Just kinda hanging out I suppose and doing lil things that need to be done to my youtube, and fb accounts.
You don't know it but I'm sitting here just staring at the screen waiting for genius to pop into my head.....
Waiting.............
Waiting.................
Typing and waiting......................
Typing and farting and waiting................
OK I totally made up that last one...though my friend Amy would be all like "Sure you did" just cause a couple of times I crashed at her pad and I was a lil gassy, she should talk though because I have seen her blow a mean butt trumpet too! Hahahahahahahahahaha.
OK well thats it for now, I'm getting too bored and so I'm outta here.
Peace, love, and vegetable rights.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
The Fat Of It All
Man! I had a really sweet blog going on like 3 hours ago and got kicked off so I lost everything. Grrrrr. So what I had orginally put was that I was going to make my blogs into small paragraphs as I know that most people have short attention spans including me.
When I see a loooooong post or blog I almost always get all anxious and start skipping over stuff. Especially if the blog or post is like one huge sentence. LOL. Small little paragraphs like this are much easier to deal with.
So what to speak about now? Hmmm....so many things come to mind, but where to start? How bout my personal appearence? Right now I am trying to grow out my hair...I believe it's been just over a year since I've had my last real haircut. I can put it into a small ponytail right now which is good because I believe your hair grows faster if it's tied back at the early stages.
about ten years ago I wieghed my heaviest which was 260 lbs. I then did and extreme diet and went down to 202. Since then I bounced back up to 245 which was four years ago and since then I dropped to 235 and then 230 and then hit the gym hardcore for 3 months and worked out for 3-5 hours a day and went down to 217 but because of all the weight lifting I was doing I was getting lean.
I then went back up to 235 after I stopped working out and it took me over a year to get back there and I had went back to eating crud and sitting on my butt all the time.
Currently I am a 220 but no where close to looking like I did at 217 because I had been working out and now Im just not eating on some days and being stupid on others. I just can seem to get it together to exercise or really do something about my weight...except complain of course.
OK, so there we have it for today. Got some things I need to do so I will end this blog and hopefully we will see you tomorrow.
When I see a loooooong post or blog I almost always get all anxious and start skipping over stuff. Especially if the blog or post is like one huge sentence. LOL. Small little paragraphs like this are much easier to deal with.
So what to speak about now? Hmmm....so many things come to mind, but where to start? How bout my personal appearence? Right now I am trying to grow out my hair...I believe it's been just over a year since I've had my last real haircut. I can put it into a small ponytail right now which is good because I believe your hair grows faster if it's tied back at the early stages.
about ten years ago I wieghed my heaviest which was 260 lbs. I then did and extreme diet and went down to 202. Since then I bounced back up to 245 which was four years ago and since then I dropped to 235 and then 230 and then hit the gym hardcore for 3 months and worked out for 3-5 hours a day and went down to 217 but because of all the weight lifting I was doing I was getting lean.
I then went back up to 235 after I stopped working out and it took me over a year to get back there and I had went back to eating crud and sitting on my butt all the time.
Currently I am a 220 but no where close to looking like I did at 217 because I had been working out and now Im just not eating on some days and being stupid on others. I just can seem to get it together to exercise or really do something about my weight...except complain of course.
OK, so there we have it for today. Got some things I need to do so I will end this blog and hopefully we will see you tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
late at night
Ok so my mom bought me this awesome laptop and I just got it today. I spent all afternoon setting it up and then farting around on FB, YouTube and other places. Then I remembered I had this blog. Ok, I didnt remember but when I did a search on blog sites this one popped up and I was already signed in. Im not sure but I dont think thats a good thing. Im going to have to ask someone who is more technically savy than me tomorrow.
So I have to shut this thing off cause I have to be to work at like 5:30am and its 10pm.
So my promise of a longer blog will just have to wait until maybe tomorrow...we''ll see. I should also check if there is a spell check on here which would probably prove usefull.
Bye for now.....um.....yeah...ok....bye.
So I have to shut this thing off cause I have to be to work at like 5:30am and its 10pm.
So my promise of a longer blog will just have to wait until maybe tomorrow...we''ll see. I should also check if there is a spell check on here which would probably prove usefull.
Bye for now.....um.....yeah...ok....bye.
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